I remember growing up, and being the young girl that was, I often found myself entangled in my father’s arms, crying, because I was simply, afraid of death.
Afraid of what it meant and what it would do to me.
How it would change life in itself.
Thankfully, as a young child, death did not hit me as hard and as vastly as it may have on some of you, and if that is so, I apologize deeply and send all my love & support.
However, I was touched by the death of my great grandfather for the years to come, as it was my first real experience with death even though I did not quite understand it at the time.
One moment he was there. The next he wasn’t, and I’d never see him again.
But what scared me the most was the thought of living a life without all the other ones I needed, especially as a young child.
What would I do without them?
Would I even want to live my life from then on?
It frightened me to think that I would have to one day a life without them. I just didn’t want to accept it.
But with acceptance comes so many possibilities.
So much hope, understanding and discovery.
The discovery, the awakening of my spiritual self.
Spirituality was something I learned about earlier than most but later than I could have hoped.
It was through my father’s study of religion, the afterlife, and all the concepts & ideas behind it, that started me on my very own path.
Which at first was a much slower process than you would think, as I used to think my father had completely lost it.
But I found that I was the one who was lost. The one who had to find my own way back home.
My father used to take my mother, sister and I into these spiritual reservoirs, the shops in the malls that have incense, crystals, and Native American statues.
To me, it made sense because it was part of our background, our culture, and our people.
However, I still didn’t quite grasp the idea behind all the lovely décor and atmosphere, until he bought me my first crystal.
I had just started the fifth grade when he handed me the rock, attached to black fabric chain. He told me to guard it with my life, and to never let anyone touch it.
I remember being so afraid that I would be cursed for the rest of my life if anyone ever laid hands on and it, I made sure to protect it with my soul, even if I still thought it was a bit dramatic of me.
But the crystal made me feel protected, & connected to my father, and so I found solace in it, the same way you would with a good luck charm.
However, one day, I had the most overwhelming sense to check on the crystal I thought was still hanging around my neck, only to find that it was gone.
Fallen off my chain, forever lost.
I cried to my father and told him I had lost it.
I had lost my way.
My guidance and my cape.
But like all true hero's he told me that it’s not the crystal holds the power alone.
It is us that gives the crystal purpose.
We who feed it life, and give it meaning
Without our acknowledgment of its existence and our belief in it, it wouldn’t as powerful as it is.
So, we took another trip to that very store where this time, he bought a starter set of crystals
and he taught me all about them.
About their energies their uses and how to care for them.
Everyday he’d give me one to hold in my pocket and every day I would keep my hands there, rubbing the soft exterior of the rock, knowing I possessed the same power it did.
But it doesn’t end there
See, crystals are only one part of the story.
But they are where my story began.
From then on, I did my own discovery down the path of spirituality.
Silently stealing all my father’s books about religion, spiritual awakening, abundance, and the higher self.
"The Creating Affluence: The A-To-Z Steps to a Richer Life," by Deepak Chopra, "Something More," by Sarah Ban Breathnach, bibles studies, and so many more, picking up a few books on crystals and tarot as well.
Each one depending my understand of myself as a spiritual being having a human experience.
Eventually, I found myself so aware of the energies around me, and so connected to the roots of the trees,
I knew then that I had found my calling, my own spirit guides, or at least was on the path to finding them.
And I strengthen that this understanding, this connection, through meditation in and around nature, and by tuning into myself & listening to the energies inside of me.
Practices I implement into my everyday life, to this very day.
I hope that this story inspires you to start your own spiritual journey, no matter where it takes you.
Be open, loving, forgiving and kind to yourself.
But most importantly know this, no matter how alone you may feel in this world, you are never truly on this path by yourself, for your spirit guides, whoever you may chose them to be, are there by your side, guiding you back home.
Back to where we all began.